…You know you want to
I do find myself browsing through a couple of blogs during the day. I may not be a big fan of irritating celebrity gossip but I sure do find share-worthy news once in a while. Well, today, I stumbled on a thought provoking headline –“Actor Emeka Ossai buys wife brand new N5.5m car for giving him twins”.
Needless to say my thoughts were immensely provoked. I didn’t even read through the article but I went straight to the comment section in the hope that I would find like minds who shared in my dilemma. Thank goodness, I was anything but disappointed. I felt my thoughts re-echoed in comments of people who like me, were disturbed by the words “for giving him twins”. To make things worse, the article went on to report that “…the actor had waited for five years for a child but got a double dose in September 2012 when Jumai delivered a set of twins (Jude and Judith)”.
The whole thing seemed to suggest a ‘sci-fi’ style situation where the woman deliberately held back her womb from bearing children for a number of years and then in 2012, she magnanimously decided to exercise her prerogative in putting together a superb and unmatched creation of twins for her husband. “The actor waited” – like it was at his wife’s disposal and she held it back from him.
She was waiting too!
We go around wondering why women (especially in Africa) are tormented and made to feel like freaks and outcasts just because they are yet to ‘give’ their husbands children (or sons) but the reason isn’t far-fetched at all. This is where it all starts from- the belief that it is the woman’s sole responsibility to make sure that her womb is full of children and that she pops them one after the other to her husband’s delight.
The world must soon come to a point where women are no longer seen as the creator of babies but as hopeful beneficiaries of God’s gift of pregnancy and childbirth.The glory of the creation of a child and a successful birth should go to God only.
Thus, a woman’s decision to make a baby with her husband and carry it to term is a labour of love and should be celebrated by her husband as such. It is a beautiful thing when a man celebrates his wife, partner and help-meet with whom he is a co-beneficiary of God’s gift of children. Anything that seems to suggest that a woman is being specially celebrated for ‘giving’ her husband twins is a slap in the face of women who are still waiting alongside their husbands for the fruit of the womb. Each couple receives from God and not from some awesome ability of the woman to give child. Such statements reek of a subtle attempt to make childless women feel inferior.
I want to believe that the way the story was presented is not a true representation of Mr. Ossai’s feelings so I celebrate him for his thoughtfulness and I rejoice with Mrs Ossai who gets a fancy new car to carry her babies in.